Death by Percale?

According to the Justice Department:

The U.S. homicide rate declined by nearly half (49%), from 9.3 homicides per 100,000 U.S. residents in 1992 to 4.7 in 2011, falling to the lowest level since 1963.

Let's contrast that to some other stats.



While the risk of dying from guns, knives and other weapons is decreasing, deaths from bed sheets has doubled in a decade. And yet I haven't heard a single congressman call for banning sheets. Where is the outrage? Americans must be protected here, shouldn't they?

Then there's the fact that bed sheet deaths seem to be correlated to cheese consumption. Mice? Eating in bed? GOVERNMENT MUST ACT NOW!